"Chicken Leg and Wide Calf" It sounds like it should be the name of a Western movie..."Chicken Leg and Wide Calf". It was in fact about a woman buying boots. Simple enough. But we have to ask questions that may embarrass people. We don't know, because we don't know the people we're talking to...yet. In that oh-so-exciting process of looking for a shoe, I had to ask her a question I didn't think would be particularly touchy: Are you a wide calf?
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"The Mute Button" - or - "Too Much Personality for Hollywood"Many, many times, as a consumer, I have answered a telemarketing call and had to ask, "Are you still there?" when the sound on the phone seemed to go dead. I never knew why that sound was happening. And every time, the person would come back on and say cheerfully, "Oh yes, I'm here! I'm just checking on that for you," and I would say, equally cheerfully, "Oh no problem! The phone just suddenly sounded odd, so I wanted to be sure I still had you." I had no idea it was The Mute Button. I believe I will be writing an entire play around The Mute Button. In fact, maybe I'll use that as the title! In fact, I have just had an unintentional training in the MOST hilarious use of The Mute Button EVER! "The Screaming Man" - or - "The Time I Started Laughing Instead"Me: Regrouping fast and being incapable of leaving "smartass" on the tarmac...] Sir, I just got here... Man: STOP. TALKING! LET ME TALK! YOU WON'T LET ME TALK!!! JUST STOP TALKING! Me: [...] Man: I WAS TALKING WITH A WOMAN AND SHE WAS LOOKING FOR MY JACKET AND THEN SHE PUT ME ON HOLD AND THEN SHE HUNG UP ON ME!!! Me: Well, sir, I will be glad to - Man: STOP. TALKING. OHMYGOD WHY WON'T YOU STOP TALKING! I'M JUST LOOKING FOR A DKNY JACKET AND YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE THREE IN YOUR STORE. [Man finally draws breath.] IT'S NOT HARD! I JUST WANT A D. K. N. Y. JACKET! AND SHE WAS LOOKING. DO YOU HAVE ONE OR NOT??? Me: Sir, I'll help you. But you have to stop yelling. I'm not going to be able to help you if you keep yelling. It doesn't help me help you. So you're going to have to calm down. Man: SHUT. UP! YOU KEEP TALKING AND TALKING! STOP! TALKING! IT'S NOT THAT HARD! WHY...??? I JUST WANT A JACKET AND YOU HAVE THREE IN YOUR STORE... [Apparently we're holding them prisoner?] "Preaching To the Greek Chorus"It's just a Skype call. "Just" a call with bigwigs. Just a chance to give my opinion about the work I do and the tools we use. Just a chance to ask for what I want. Kind of like Christmas. Without wrapping paper. Offered to me like mannah from heaven with double, triple, quadruple benefits:
It's just a 30-minute conference call.
With other people on the phone from the different departments. Bedding, Michael Kors, Chat. Others I haven't heard of. Other opinions - many of which coincide with my own. My own opinions that ring surprisingly confident in my own ears... |
AuthorWorking in Sales at a Call Center for one of the biggest stores in the country should come with hazard pay. Archives
December 2019
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